Parenting toddlers often feels like guiding them through an unpredictable maze, especially when it comes to getting them to follow directions. If you frequently find yourself facing a little one who seems to do the opposite of what you ask, it might be time to switch up your approach.

To improve communication with your child and increase the likelihood that they’ll actually follow directions, social media star and educator Chazz Lewis, also known as @mrchazz, suggests adopting a “Google Search mindset.”

In a now-viral video, Lewis explains The Google Search mindset and how to better communicate with your child—especially when giving directions. “Think about it like a Google search,” he explains. “If you type in Google ‘no running, stop running, don’t run,’ you’ll get lots of results of people running. But if you type into Google ‘walking, walking feet,’ you’ll get lots of results of people walking.”

The way you phrase directions impacts how children process and respond to them—when you focus on actions like running or touching, toddlers are more likely to zero in on those exact behaviors. Instead, Lewis encourages parents to offer specific, positive instructions that direct their children toward what they can do rather than focusing on what they can’t.

To drive his point home, Lewis breaks down a common parenting moment—the classic “don’t touch.” While the phrase might seem straightforward, Lewis emphasizes how young children perceive language differently than adults. “If you hope to guide a young child, it’s important for you to know what the child hears. The child is hearing ‘we touch it, we touch it, touch it, we touch it.’” For toddlers, the repetition of “touch” reinforces the very action parents want to avoid.

%% CALLOUT 639QCSomENMKyDdD1YrmW8 %%

As an alternative, Lewis proposes a simple yet effective four-part strategy. First, he suggests gently holding the child’s hand to establish connection—a gesture that can prime a child’s brain for cooperation by creating a bond. Next, he uses an enthusiastic expression to capture their attention. Finally, he offers clear instructions: “Grab the handlebar like this,” showing them how to do it.

Lewis acknowledges that changing one’s language this way isn’t easy, especially for parents used to more traditional approaches. “Avoid being a perfectionist; be an improvenist. The goal isn’t to be perfect every day; the goal is to improve a little every day. You got this,” he encourages. Looking for more help with giving your toddler direction or managing meltdowns? Learn about the science behind why toddlers act out and what you can do about it.

Behavioral Development