Just as every birthing experience is unique, the feelings that follow should be met with the same grace and understanding. Some parents can't wait to hold their baby, while others might need a little time—and as one mom recently shared, that's completely OK.

In a now-viral video, new mom and doula Poppy (@popthatmumma) opened up about her post-birth experience, which didn’t match the instant flood of warmth and love that’s often depicted. “It took me eight minutes before I could even look at my baby, a stark contrast to the image we’re often shown of an instant rush of love,” Poppy explained, reflecting on the moments after her at-home water birth. “My experience was different. I NEEDED this time.”

She went on to describe how, once she was ready, her love for her baby, Olivia, flowed effortlessly. "When I finally returned to myself and held her, love poured out of me with every ounce of my being. If you find yourself needing a moment after birth, please know it’s OK—you just need time to exhale and come back to yourself," Poppy reassured. She ended by asking, "Did you feel an instant rush of love? Or did you take time to come back into your body before embracing your baby?"

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Parents in the comments shared similar experiences, shedding light on a topic that often goes unspoken. “This is soo not talked about enough. With my 4th she was handed to me and I felt numb… almost confused like I hadn’t just given birth. I can’t even explain it,” commented one mom. “My first birth, I also needed to come back into my body. I held my daughter for a moment and then asked if my partner could hold her skin-to-skin. With zero hesitation, he ripped off his shirt and held her pink little body on his chest…I feel lucky that my partner was so quick to support me and not judge me in that moment,” added another mom.

Many also found healing and hope in Poppy’s story. “After the birth of my son, the nurse asked me if I wanted to hold him, I shook my head no. I couldn’t talk. I have been carrying that guilt ever since. This video has shown me I no longer need to carry the guilt, and that it was perfectly normal and was what my body and spirit needed in that moment. Thank you for sharing this,” wrote one mother. “Thank you SO much for sharing this. It is so so raw and hugely important for all those expecting babies to understand that it’s an immense moment, that the love doesn’t necessarily pour from you instantly and that’s OK,” shared another.

If you are expecting and feel anxiety about what lies ahead it can be helpful to create a birth plan, complete with how you’d like those first few moments after’s baby’s birth to go and what support people you’d like on hand if you need a moment. Check out this birth plan template for an easy guide to help you prepare.

Birth Stories