Tiffany Haddish Reminds Us Coping With Miscarriage Can Take Many Forms

Loss isn’t always loud. While some people heal best by sharing and being open about their grief, others heal best in the quiet corners of their own hearts and home. As with other types of loss, the phrase “everyone grieves differently” holds true when it comes to pregnancy loss.

In a recent interview with The Washington Post, comedian Tiffany Haddish opened up about her unique pregnancy loss journey. The article, which details the many parts of the Haddish’s life story and future endeavors, opens with a candid depiction of a loss the Haunted Mansion actress knows all too well.

In it, she talks with her doctor’s office conveying the news that she experienced a miscarriage earlier in the week that “slowed her down” for a few days but not enough for anyone to notice. “Well, I’m going to be honest with you,” she told the nurse on the phone. “This would be my eighth one. I’ve got a uterus shaped like a heart. It just won’t keep anything in.”

Before the Washington Post story was released, the AfterParty star had only opened up to one close friend and kept the news from others. “I don’t want people saying: ‘Are you okay? Are you all right?’” she said. “Like a wounded animal, I just rather go in a cave by myself. Lick my wounds.”

Haddish’s decision to keep her miscarriages to herself is something that may have sounded like the only option for a woman experiencing pregnancy loss just 10 years ago. But today, the topic has come out of the shadows, with more women finding power in sharing their stories of pregnancy loss and grief. Life-long bonds have been formed, and thousands have taken comfort in knowing they aren’t alone in this often isolating journey.

Amid the breaking celebrity exposes and social media stories, though, many women continue to quietly find their empowerment and healing in keeping their loss to themselves or to their inner circle. The take-home message being—healing and coping with a pregnancy loss can take many forms. There is no superior way to heal, rather what brings you comfort is best.

After years of quiet healing, Haddish ultimately decided to share her story after an endometriosis diagnosis. A painful condition that affects the tissue that lines the uterus, endometriosis impacts around 7 million women in the US. Haddish hopes that publicizing her condition will help others.

Outside of sharing her story Haddish stays positive by joking about her loss and remaining open about her path to motherhood. Last year the 43-year-old took parenting classes and got more information about potentially adopting. She notes that she’s constantly considering how a baby would fit into her busy career and if it would “be selfish to have a baby. Wouldn’t help more to take in a 5-year-old?”

However, Haddish chooses to push forward, her story remains an important lesson on not only the unique paths to parenthood but, how every individual is entitled to respond to their journey however they chose.

If you are struggling with a miscarriage, you can find support through our miscarriage and pregnancy loss community forum here or learn more about how to begin healing from your loss here.