Teach Your Kids to Be More Self-Sufficient With This Simple Change

As a parent—especially a mom—it can feel like your to-do list never ends. From making it to daycare drop-off on time to remembering every little item for visits to grandma’s house, there’s always something to prep, pack, or plan. That’s why raising a child who’s even a bit more self-sufficient can be a total game-changer. But self-sufficent kids don’t just spring up over night, they have to be taught along the way—and one mom suggests that training can start with something as small as their afternoon snack.

In a now-viral video mom Chelsea Jo (@sunny_acres_regen_farm) explains her slightly unorthodox and what might sound initially “a little crazy or a little crude” for helping her daughter become more self-sufficent.

“The other day we were driving in the car, and from the back seat [my 3-year-old daughter] calls up and she’s like ‘Mom! I’m hungry!’…and so my response to her…was ‘Oh! Did you bring yourself a snack?’ So this is my parenting technique,” she continues. “Same thing ‘Mom, I’m really thirsty!’ ‘Hmm! Did you bring your water bottle with you?’ I know, it sounds a little harsh. I promise, I’m not letting my kids go hungry; I’m not letting them go thirsty. They’re very hydrated, well-fed kids, all right? This is used in very specific scenarios.”

“But what this does is it puts a little bit of the responsibility and the ownership on them,” Chelsea notes. She explains that she’s been using this approach with her older daughter on quick errands since she was old enough to understand—and it’s come with several benefits.

“Number one, it helps her understand that she has to take some responsibility in bringing something,” she says. “Especially in cases when before we leave, I say, ‘Hey sweetie, you might get thirsty when we’re doing this or you might get bored. Do you wanna bring a book to read? Should you? Do you wanna pick out some colours? Should we bring a water bottle?’ Like, let’s think about how we can prepare and then we can have those things when we are out doing whatever.”

Chelsea adds that she’s not only helping her daughter plan ahead—she’s also gently introducing natural consequences. “Because if she doesn’t bring her water or her snack—again, in the case that we’re doing like a 15-minute car ride where she just ate—then her natural consequence is she doesn’t get a snack,” she explains.

The second plus? A growing sense of ownership. “Sometimes now I can hear like in the back seat or when we go somewhere she’ll say, ‘Ah shoot, I forgot my water.’ And she’s three,” she says. “And she is now putting that ownership on herself of, ‘Shoot, I forgot my water.’”

And the final, feel-good bonus? A little more gratitude. “In times where she says, ‘Aah, I’m thirsty,’ or, ‘Aah, I forgot something to do,’ and then I say, ‘Oh honey, I remembered—I brought your water bottle,’ she’s so thankful. And not in like a, ‘Oh, poor me, I’m gonna die of thirst,’ just a genuine like, ‘Mom, you thought of me. You remembered.’”

“The default is not that I am responsible for every single thing,” she concludes. “Yes, I’m responsible for keeping her healthy and hydrated, but for those extra things, she’s responsible and she knows it.”