Viral Video: What to Say if a Doctor Dismisses Your Pregnancy Concerns

From headaches to nausea, aches and pains, pregnancy brings along a whole new host of symptoms that can leave you feeling off or, worse, debilitated. It can be hard to weed through what feels like normal pregnancy ick and what’s potentially a cause for concern. While talking with your doctor should bring peace and clarity, parents-to-be often feel frustrated when their concerns are brushed aside as “par for the course” or “nothing to worry about.” If you’re struggling to feel heard at your doctor’s office, you aren’t alone. On the plus side—there’s help on the horizon.

In a now-viral video, Dr. Christine Sterling, an OBGYN and mom of three, shares three simple ways parents-to-be can advocate for themselves when they feel their pregnancy concerns are being dismissed.

First up—delve deeper into why your doctor believes your symptom isn’t serious. Sterling shares the example of headaches. “Say, ‘Okay, I know that headaches can be normal in pregnancy, but what is it about my headaches that makes you think that it isn’t more serious?’”

In follow-up, it doesn’t hurt to ask, “What should I be on the lookout for? That would indicate that it is something more serious,” she adds. This simple question can help you keep tabs on your symptoms between appointments, give you peace of mind and even let you know if you need to come in to address a growing problem.

Finally, even if your pregnancy symptoms are “normal,” if they are impacting your life in a negative way, they still deserve to be addressed. For this, Sterling recommends people say, “I’m reassured you don’t think this is something more serious going on. However, this symptom is really impacting my quality of life, my ability to go about my day. I would like to do something about this. What do you suggest?”

The bottom line is that your feelings and concerns are always valid, and it’s important that they are heard and addressed. With these three questions, you can help establish clear communication with your doctor so you can hopefully walk out feeling heard, your symptoms addressed and comforted, knowing you are doing your best for yourself and baby.

Want more tips on advocating for your and baby’s health? Check out these tips for advocating for yourself in the delivery room and read one mom’s perspective on how to advocate for yourself as a Black patient.