Six-Year-Old Skeptic Writes Hilariously Savage Letter to Santa

Typically, Santa is not a hard sell when it comes to kids. A jolly fella in a red suit who leaves you presents every year without asking for anything (except for good behavior, obviously) in return? Sign ‘em up! But apparently one mom is raising a big-time Santa skeptic. Which she and the rest of the internet are having a good LOL over when she shared on Twitter the letter that her 6-year-old son wrote to St. Nick.

“Dear Santa,” the letter begins. It also happens to be where this kid’s patience ends. “Santa Im [sic] only doing this for the class,” the letter continues. “I know your notty list is emty. And your good list is emty. and your life is emty. You don’t know the trouble Ive had in my life. Good bye.”

But that’s not all. The boy then signs his note with “love, Im not telling you my name.” Hear that Santa? He’s not. Telling you. His name.

Seriously, how can anyone not laugh while reading that? The kid is savage (in the most innocent way). He even decorated the letter by drawing holiday wreaths down one side of the letter and skulls—skulls!—down the other. And judging by the 100,000 likes and 34,000 retweets the boy’s mom, NPR’s Sarah McCammon, has received on her post by press time, we’re guessing a lot of other people feel the same way.

Oh, and in case you’re worried about the “troubles” to which the author refers, McCammom clarifies that they basically boil down to “his brother,” and jokingly asks her followers to refrain from calling child services.

Honestly, reading the letters that kids write to Santa is always fun. In fact, if you have a few minutes, we recommending reading our roundup of the cutest ones for a quick mood boost. If that doesn’t get us on the “nice” list, nothing will.

Published December 2017