Pregnant and Horny? Why Your Sex Drive Might Be Especially High
It might sound a little cheeky, but if you’re—how do we put this?—pregnant and horny, you’re far from alone. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to sex drive during pregnancy. Some women find themselves revved up after the big positive-test reveal, while others feel less than excited about doing the deed that got them into this gestational situation to begin with. If you find yourself in the former (and friskier) category, you might have a lot of burning questions. So what’s a gal to do with all of that extra sex drive? And is sex even safe while pregnant? Sarah Morrow, CNM, a certified nurse-midwife at Pediatrix Medical Group in Fort Worth, Texas, sums it up best: “Embrace the changes in sex drive—and remember to have fun.”
Ready to get the full lowdown on your lifted libido during pregnancy? Read on to learn from experts why some women boast this boost—plus, get a fresh dose of perspective from other moms-to-be who know what it’s like to be in the mood (or not).
Feeling extra “horny” during pregnancy is something many women experience. “The increased blood flow to the entire pelvic region, including the uterus, vagina, cervix and vulva, creates increased sensitivity,” explains Morrow. Additionally, you may feel more confident or connected to your body and partner during this exciting journey. This, too, can sweeten the deal and make life feel a little spicier.
On the flip side, it’s also very common for women to have a decreased sex drive in pregnancy. Moreover, libido levels can fluctuate throughout pregnancy—there’s no right or wrong amount of sex drive at any point in the journey.
My sex drive has been in very high gear these days. While I’m certainly feeling big and pretty uncomfortable, I’m constantly thinking about sex! I normally have a fairly high sex drive, but nothing like this! My fiancé has been very happy about the turn of events!
Again, not everyone will experience a boost in sex drive during pregnancy. In fact, a review of research on sexual desire during pregnancy found that female sexual desire generally decreases in pregnancy. In any case, your libido level will likely vary and fluctuate throughout the nine+ month experience, so we’ve outlined when you might experience a bump (in libido, that is) during each trimester—keeping in mind these are generalities.
First trimester
Thanks to drastic hormonal and physical changes in the first trimester, women will more typically experience a decreased sex drive in early pregnancy. According to Morrow, “It’s less common for people to have an increased sex drive in early pregnancy. The combination of typical physical changes, including increased fatigue as well as nausea and vomiting, often suppress libido during this time.” On the other hand, some women may have an increased libido in early pregnancy—perhaps due to excitement about being pregnant. It’s subjective.
Second trimester
In the second trimester, nausea and fatigue tend to taper down, and some women find themselves returning to pre-pregnancy levels of sexual desire. According to Molly McBride, MD, an ob-gyn at Slán NYC an advisor for Lubify, “This is often a time of improvement of early pregnancy symptoms and an increase in overall wellbeing. Also, hormone changes may enhance libido during this time.” However, if your sex drive levels don’t perk up, that’s normal too. Every experience is different and valid.
Third trimester
The third trimester can do a number on your sex drive. As bumps grows and childbirth nears, many couples pump the brakes on bumping and grinding. But some women love the way they feel, embrace their new body and want to enjoy some quality sexy time with their partner before baby arrives.
Better yet, having sex can be a great way to prepare for childbirth. “Unless you are at an increased risk of bleeding or preterm labor, regular sexual activity at the end of pregnancy can actually help your body get ready for labor,” says Morrow.
On the whole, it’s typically very safe to have sex during pregnancy. “Many people worry about possibly hurting baby during [vaginal] sex—rest assured that’s not possible,” says Morrow. “Babies are very well protected inside of the uterus and aren’t bothered by sexual activity.” That said, ask your provider if having sex is safe for your unique situation. McBride adds, “It’s important to note that certain conditions, such as placenta previa, preterm labor or ruptured membranes, may warrant restrictions on sexual activity.”
I'm 22 weeks along and my sex drive is insane. The only problem is that my husband’s drive is not… I've talked to him about it and he says he just isn't in the mood—that it has nothing to do with me or the baby. He isn't worried about hurting the baby while we're having sex. He said he just doesn't want to have sex.
Pregnancy hormones and physiological changes can result in a roller coaster of sex-drive changes during pregnancy. Below, some tips for handling the highs (and lows) of libido in pregnancy.
Have fun with it
Feeling horny during pregnancy can be a gift—take advantage of it! “This may include exploring new things with your partner or alone,” says Morrow. “Treat it as another great adventure you can explore during this time of great change and growth.” As long as your partner is on board, your pregnancy can be a time of mutual sexual exploration and fun.
Communicate openly about your sex drive changes
If you find yourself feeling more sex motivated than usual during pregnancy, communicate these changes with your other half. “Let your partner know that you’re feeling more frisky and that it’s persistent so that they can mentally (and physically) prepare to keep up with you,” advises Javay Frye-Nekrasova, M.Ed., sex educator and founder of The Millennial Sexpert. Talking about your increased sex drive in a non-pressuring way can help boost your connection and intimacy level.
Masturbate more
If your partner’s sex drive doesn’t match with yours, remember there are more ways to get the release you’re craving. “You can’t control your partner’s libido, so don’t shy away from masturbation. It is a great option for sexual relief and gratification that you don’t have to coordinate with someone else,” says Frye-Nekrasova. “Do be aware that your body changing may mean that you have to explore new positions, techniques or toys for masturbation.”
Experiment with new positions
Your changing body might necessitate switching up your sex positions. For example, at a certain point in pregnancy, missionary might not feel comfortable. Trying new positions can be a fun way to add novelty to your sex life. Some new positions you explore might even become part of your repertoire post-baby too! Morrow encourages adding props if needed: “You may find it helpful to suggest novel positions you haven’t tried before, or use supportive devices such as a triangular bolster.”
Broaden your definition of sex
Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex therapist and author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life says, “In male-female couples, we have the tendency to think that the only way to have sex is through intercourse. We even use those words interchangeably. But that’s not the only way to have sex.” Adding more items to your sexual menu can make things more exciting and help you (and your partner) satisfy your increased sexual appetite.
Find other ways to connect
On the flip side, if you experience a decreased libido in pregnancy, don’t fret. This is entirely normal, and your intimacy with your partner doesn’t have to suffer. “There are other ways to connect physically and emotionally during this time. Also, remember that this is just a season of life,” says Morrow. If you have less sexual desire during pregnancy, you can still maintain a connection with your partner in other ways. “Massages, make-outs, cuddle puddles are all totally great options for when someone isn’t feeling up to full-on fun,” advises Matthew Morris, dad of one and author of The Partner’s Purpose During Pregnancy.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is “horniness” an early sign of pregnancy or period?
“Horniness is not a common early sign of pregnancy or period,” says Morrow. Many women experience decreased sex drive in early pregnancy, though this may vary. However, increased sex drive is not a reliable indicator of early pregnancy. For the record, some women also feel friskier as their period approaches.
Does sex feel different during pregnancy?
Vaginal intercourse can feel different during pregnancy. “People often find they’re significantly more sensitive and may need to try new or alternative positions in order to accommodate their growing baby. Some people may also experience more cervical tenderness with deeper penetration,” says Morrow.
How often should a pregnant woman have sex?
Let’s say it loud enough for the people in the back: There’s absolutely no right or wrong amount any woman should be having sex at any time. Our experts sound off: “Whatever timing or frequency you’re comfortable with, physically, mentally and emotionally is the ‘right’ amount of sex for you,” says Morrow. “There’s no correct number. Everyone is different in terms of what they’re wanting during pregnancy and this includes sex,” adds Frye-Nekrasova.
Is it okay to not want sex at all during pregnancy?
It’s absolutely okay to not want sex at all during pregnancy. Many women have zero sex drive during pregnancy, and that’s completely okay. There are many ways to create intimacy with your partner, and your relationship can be perfectly healthy even during a time of less intercourse. Communicating about your sex drive changes with your partner is key. “Your sex drive will ebb and flow throughout your life, so don’t be discouraged if pregnancy isn’t a time of high libido for you,” says Morrow.
Pregnancy changes everything, including your sex drive. It’s not a one-size-fits-all experience, and anything you feel (or don’t feel) during pregnancy is valid. You and your partner can team up to find ways to cope with any libido changes that come your way. And if you’re in the high sex-drive camp, have fun and have at it!
Please note: The Bump and the materials and information it contains are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical or other health advice or diagnosis and should not be used as such. You should always consult with a qualified physician or health professional about your specific circumstances.
Plus, more from The Bump:
Javay Frye-Nekrasova, M.Ed., is a sex educator and founder of The Millennial Sexpert.
Vanessa Marin, MFA, is a licensed sex therapist and the author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life.
Molly McBride, MD, is an ob-gyn at Slán NYC an advisor for Lubify. She earned her medical degree from Drexel University in Philadelphia.
Matthew Morris is a dad of one and the author of The Partner’s Purpose During Pregnancy.
Sarah Morrow, CNM, is a certified nurse-midwife at Pediatrix Medical Group in Fort Worth, Texas.
Public Health Review, Influence of Pregnancy on Sexual Desire in Pregnant Women and Their Partners: Systematic Review, January 2024
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